"To have lived is not enough for them."
"They have to talk about it."
- Vladimir and Estragon (
Waiting For Godot, Samuel Beckett)
How true of bloggers! Perhaps Beckett is right. We don't find meaning in life just living it, there's a need to share, to brag, to lament, or otherwise milk it for all its worth. I wonder - does this make every moment more precious, or does the preoccupation with the reminiscence that comes after denigrate our every act?
When I look back, years from now, I want to have no regrets. It might not be the best course of action, but sometimes it's not a decision between failure and success - The options are failure and regret. What I'm doing now, I do not to achieve an ends, but to deny myself the limbo of chance and hope that will be future regrets. If it can end beautifully, I'll make sure it will. I don't want to look back and say "It
might have ended beautifully.". Just for the records, I am still sanguine.
Memoria praeteritorum bonorum ; The past is always recalled to be good. It's been over a year since the first blog entry that started as an effort to communicate with the AC fraternity. It's also been that long since this obnoxious, arrogant, pompous AC boy strode past the rusty gates of NJC and scoffed a snort of derision. He still thinks of himself as an ACSian, but NJ has taught him humility ; and conceit has matured to confidence.
Everything happens for a reason. Secondary school gave us our character, and we made that character ours in JC. The cookie-cutter secondary school graduates are now flavoured with individual identity - bitter, sweet, melancholic. How did the other 410-ers turn out?
I woke up today intending to thank some people and bitch about others on this god-forsaken blog. But I realize it's too early in the year and I still have to face some of them for a few more months.
