Of Melancholy, or Mid- Semester Crisis

The term is ending. I'm not in any mood to type legibly and even if I were to try(which I somehow did), no words can describe the degree of melancholy I'm feeling right now. My life is in a mess. Its probably unnoticeable to all you happy, satisfied people out there who see only a facade of joviality and insouciance in me. Beneath this mask of mirth and gaiety lurks a malcontented and confused soul. This soul is exhausted, feeble, weary. Divested of all his energy and exuberance so freely spent at the embarkation of this term. Nothing is happening as I want it to be(or rather, as I believe I want it to be)...



Subject Combination and Ambition, again...
I've finally decided on dropping physics for literature, but a friend's advice to go completely arts seems apt(though unlikely). Then again, I feel a sense of regret and prodigality at my decision to give up physics too. I can say for sure now that I do not know what I want to do in this life. Except, perhaps to lead an absolutely decadent existence. Even that is not certain. This idiot is doomed to wander through life aimlessly.



Student's Council...
I used to aspire to be one and I think I still do. Though recent events and revelations have caused me to come to the realization that there are other CCAs which are as rewarding(if not more). I am prepared to lavish time on my CCAs, but I'm not sure if I'd not rather spread it out over a couple of them instead of just one. Anyway, results for the interviews are not out yet. I might not even get past that stage with my decidedly flawed personality so apparent during the interview(and normally). Who knows? Perhaps the decision will not even be made by me as I get disqualified by the interview.
If I am denied a place, I'd likely join more CCAs. *Hint* Maybe then I can finally say that I'm in the whole ELDDS.



Friendship, The True...
Having deserted my best pals in my decision to choose NJC, I found myself floundering in the "Very Good Friends" department. Don't get me wrong, though- Casual friends and acquaintances number in the hundreds here. Not one can I call a true soulmate, though. Perhaps I am just asking for too much. Perhaps I have been given too much back in the good ol' AC days. Then again, perhaps I've just been blind and selfish. I miss everyone in 4.10 Samuel. Shaun, Dwayne, Samuel, Nat(yes, even you!), Viknesh, Gavin, Joshua, Jon Tang, Brandon, Ming Hao... Where else can I find company of such boisterous nature and notoriety?

Notice: CW is looking for good friends. He is faithful, interesting, empathetic and shows an occasional degree of wit(and an occasional lack of it). Those who qualify with the vaunted characteristics of wit, insanity and a certain amount of empathy may submit your entries via winks(not recommended), conversation or cerebral impulses. Muggers need not apply. The mask is off. Your kind may graciously die now. Bimbos(and their male counterparts) are considered on a case- by- case basis.



O' Level English Language, Not A Nag...
I'm still pissed. Period. Without Blood. How is it possible that people(no names) of less ability can score better in this most important of examinations? Screw you, Cambridge. It isn't only me. Individuals of much higher calibre than me have been cursed with grades of A2s and B3s. Not to mention the decidedly rigged literature paper in which the number of A1s decreased from 30 to a mere 4. With top students scoring C5s, isn't it obvious that there has been some major descrepency going on in Cambridge? I hate Cambridge and I hope it burns. And my feelings are neither unfounded nor singular. Watch out, Cambridge, we're after your blood.



My Vile, Sadistic Nature...
... is showing. I tried to be nice, I really did. I've been warned several times in previous years by my peers and teachers. Even my closest acquaintances comment on my wretched side. I've been cursed with an ignoble, unrelenting and ungracious tongue with a nasty habit of pointing out and exploiting flaws in others. It was addictive, and I liked doing it. Perhaps its the sense of triumph over those whom you'd just scorned. Perhaps its the warped justice you achieve upon having a pompous ass put down. It doesn't help that I'm surrounded by ineloquent imbeciles helplessly waiting to be tortured. Oops, there it goes again. It is not just a blemish on my character. It is a fatal flaw, and I hope to extirpate it one day.
Not because I want to, but because society doesn't deign to acknowledge its flaws, and I have no desire to become incommunicado.


I'm sorry I have to whine. But I believe in being flagrantly frank in my emotions. Besides, I'm feeling better now cos of it. :)

Of Reasons Why I Didn't Do Well For The O' Levels, or A Last Ditch Effort To Salvage Some Pride Part 1

Reason 1- The Paper Was Too Easy

Compared to the standard of the prelims, the O's paper was an insult to our capabilities. The disgustingly simple questions were often misleading in their transparency, causing the astute and intellectually superior to stumble in their surprise. I refused to lower myself to their(the exam's) level, hence the dismal results...



Reason 2- The Paper Was Marked In December In A Very Very Cold Place Called Cambridge In Winter

Consider this scenario...

An old, dishevelled hag of a woman sits at an equally antique(though not in the least ornate) table facing an endless heap of paper scrawled all over with writings of a nature similar to English, yet which cannot exactly be described as such. On her face is a constant scowl, deepening often as she expresses her dismay at the writings. The howl of the winter wind, easily audible over the cracked window panes, threatens to break her precipitous concentration. In the center of the room, a rusty heater heaves its last breath, then stops forever. The cold of winter takes its chances and invades the room, sweeping across the rotting carpets to our protagonist.

She gives up. She tears her eyes from the untidy scrawl which she had been trying to decipher for the past hour. Cursing under her breath(which was becoming cooler by the second), she stands up, moves over to the dying fireplace and tries in vain to revive the fire. At this moment, she feels utterly miserable(and, not to forget, cold), both at the mysterious, dying fireplace which materialized out of thin air and at the growing stack of exam papers waiting to be caressed by her own feathery script. She takes a quick glance across the empty room, then decides on a very obvious and logical course of action.

She gathers the stacks of papers in her crooked arms and made towards the fireplace with its rapidly cooling embers. In her current agonized state, she ignores the elegant penmanship peeking out amongst the roll of crude scratchings which only served to emphasis its delicate curves and sensuous disposition. Written solemnly at the top right corner of the paper in the same gracefully flowing script is the name "Ng Cheng Wei". On that same piece of parchment, an epic longs to be discovered. An audible sigh can be heard as the stack of paper, together with the hidden gem, was sacrificed to bring life to the disintegrating fire.

The fire roared into life, consuming without discrimination every piece of paper fed to it. In a moment, the flames appeared to retreat into itself, perhaps from the realization that it had squandered the only hope that a young, talented man in the Asian country of Singapore had. Back at the table, the hag dozes off, oblivious of the cardinal sin which she had just committed.

And that, is the much dramatised version of how I got a B3 for English. My idea for the A' Level GP exam title is now: "I Know What You Did Last, Last Winter".

More to come soon!

Oh and to all of you out there slogging through your tests/exams/homework, I have this to say to you- All I did today was sleep, eat, read, sleep and play!

Results Results Results, or Excuses Excuses Excuses

First things first, I've got a dismal 8 points. Secondly, I had to type this twice cos of my lascivious fingers which chose to click on the sexy refresh button. Really disappointing, especially since the subject that screwed me up was English Language(got a Freaky B3), supposedly something I was adept at. Anyway, here's the boring breakdown on my grades...

The Good,

English Literature- A1
Whoa! This really came as a surprise to rival that of the FREAK EL results! If you had seen me on the day of the examination, you'd never have expected me to do this well. I'd thought this was the one that'd break me, but I've been pleasantly surprised. Seems like I've just proven that excelling in Literature doesn't equal to a distinction in EL. Perhaps this phenomenon(of my results) is a divine sign directing me to offer Literature in A Levels?

Chemistry/Physics/E Math/A Math- A1
My bread-and-butter subjects. Not being arrogant but, I've never doubted my abilities in these and the A1s come as no surprise here.


The Bad,

Biology- A2
No surprises here either. I'd lost all interest in secondary school Biology ever since we had Tay as our teacher. Even before the prelims, I'd given up on this subject, choosing instead to rely on my other 4 Maths/Sciences. The extra A2 brightened up my otherwise downtrodden result slip though.


The UGLY,

Combined Humanities(History)- B3
As with Biology, no surprises here since I'd placed all hopes on Literature. The only reason I took this subject at all is because it's compulsory. This additional B3 kinda marred my slip...

English Language- B3
FREAK Result here! Never in my life have I foreseen a measly B3 in this subject! I'd been confident of getting an A1 and maybe an A2 but never this disastrous result! I suppose the reason for my downfall here might be my slightly out-of-point composition. Well, guess I'll just have to try harder next time.


Contrary to what I've been preaching all day, I am satisfied(though barely) with my score. At least myplace in NJC is guaranteed. Hence, I believe my decision to celebrate all day and night(and a little bit more) is the right one.

Went out with some old friends. Went for lunch, went to rot at a lan gaming shop, went for dinner, and finally went to rot at some sleazy karaoke room.

Ah, the sinful pleasures of life...