Sanguine Choler Phlegm Melancholy: October 2006

Aristotle

"Why do you question my thoughts, my beliefs, my purpose? I'm ten times smarter than two of you combined. If I could, I'd just talk to myself. But no, I stick around and keep those cancerous plebeian growths you call your minds entertained! I do this because I'm a bloody philosopher. And you're fuckin' sheep." ~ ~~The Great CW~~

Justice

Today I read about justice. Is justice virtuous? Is the just man happy? Probably, if you're openly just and reap the rewards. Doesn't that mean that the injust man is as happy, if not happier, being un-openly injust? Come to think of it, there're so many things we can get away with, so long as they don't see the light of day. Who can resist the allure of perfect injustice? Law, you say? Law is when someone does you an injustice, and you duplicate the act and call it justice. If someone is killed, we kill someone else to make up for it. Blood will have blood. That's law.

Law is justice.

Denouement

There are certain things in life that we cannot live without trying ; certain facts that we cannot not know, or attempt to. I think Bowling For Soup's Almost sums it up nicely. Was it only curiosity that made Pandora open the box that released the plagues to the world? Often, we are Pandora, and until we open that box, we'll never know if it's a can of worms or a pot of gold. At least Pandora's box had hope hidden at the bottom to salvage the world.

Mine didn't.

Dishonesty Is The Best Policy

We live in an imperfect world and so everybody lies at least once in their miserable lives. That is because lying is the only route to happiness. Why? Consider this syllogism - One: the world is imperfect, two: we won't be truly happy without perfection - We'll have to lie to ourselves to be happy, and to others so they'll be happy. Quad erat demonstratum.

Sometimes I forget, and I tell the truth.

Numero Uno

"I don't like losing."

"Then don't take part."

"But I like winning."

I never have sequels to blog posts with "#1"s in their titles. That's because sequels are invariably doomed to the sideline, relegated to the shadows of their originals. First love is sweetest ; The first cut is the deepest. Even memory works on primacy and recency - You're either first or last. If you're not The Winner, you're a loser. The nomenclature "runner-up" or "second" is an excruciatingly vexing reminder of one's fallibility in being contingency to "first". The fact that one has the advantage over everyone else is insignificant and inconsequential.

I've never enjoyed being second place in anything.

Insights From The Bard #1

Shakespeare himself extends a rather bony decomposed hand to welcome all of you ignorant plebeians reading the premier issue of Insights From The Bard. A cold welcome, if you will.

In this age of emo rock bands and suicidal teens, our immortal bard's works have never been more valid nor more arresting. In fact he fits in so well to our gory contemporary values that he scoffs at our way of life. To him, shooting yourself in the head is but a bored trifling way of death. He is no longer satisfied with watching our feeble attempts at suicide, sadism and depression (not necessarily in that order). Bored to death, and bored out of his bones, Shakespeare has risen from the grave to educate the masses.

It is never enough to keel over and die - Every death's dramatic capacity should be maximised and milked for the greatest stage (cf. "all the world's a stage") effect. Our modern society plagued with dismal, uneventful, dime-a-dozen geriatric deaths must now take a leaf out of Shakespeare's tragedies before we are rendered obsolete in this race to die glamourously and gloriously. To aid your lifelong quest to die, we have here for your perusal The Best Deaths Of Shakespearean Tragedies.

Death #4 - Antony from Antony and Cleopatra
Towering in at number four is big oaf Antony. He attempts to commit suicide over his lover's supposed (and faked) death but fails to die after falling on his sword. The next moment, he finds out (with sword stuck in chest) that said lover Cleopatra lives. He is subsequently brought up to her tower with strings (because he is dirty and smelly and bloody and no one likes to touch a dirty smelly bloody man) where he finally dies after having his death speech interrupted multiple times by his irritating, loquacious girlfriend. I'm sure many guys can empathise with poor Antony. Despite the lack of glamour or glory, we award him 4th place for sheer stupidity and gore.

Death #3 - Polonius from Hamlet
This alleged peeping tom gets his due when (pretending-to-be) stark raving mad Hamlet sticks his (real, literal) sword through his mum's (real, literal) curtains. Ok this may not strike you as being particularly memorable, but get a load of this - Polonius is the father of Ophelia, Hammy's love interest. How much more contemporary can you get from killing your father-in-law? I'd say that's the ultimate fantasy of most married men. Again we see a death devoid of grace and beauty, but I say, it takes a real man to be a cosmic joke even in death.

Death #2 - Gloucester from King Lear
You be the judge. You tell me what beats having both eyes gouged out, in your own castle, by your "friends" who then throw you out. Your lil bastard son watches all these with glee (in fact he's the one who told on you) and then takes your land and position. Replace "castle" with "house" and "land and position" with "money" and it all sounds too much like my own little ploy...

Death #1 - Lady Macbeth from Macbeth
Here is my favourite character in all Shakespeare. Lady Macbeth is a bitching sexual killing machine with breasts who loves her man. She is so full of wit and aggression that her favourite pastime is taunting (more like tormenting) Macbeth for being a wimp (even though - or precisely because - she loves him). She becomes emo and depressed after Duncan's murder, and is obsessed with cleanliness, like so many girls I know. In fact she allegedly dies because of this obsessive compulsiveness as she first loses sleep, then hallucinates and eventually becomes a demented lunatic - all because of a stubborn spot of dirt (more accurately, blood) on her perfectly manicured digits. I want to date someone like Lady Macbeth.

Wuh?

In the dark, uncetain future of mankind, only one thing can save us...

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Alien Transmission 097393749
To: Earthling Infidels

Kindly tone down on the haze - we are having trouble receiving satellite TV out here. If it might be convenient, our boys/girls/thingums would like to know what happens to that bitch in the last episode of Survivor before we blow you to smithereens.

Yours sincerely,

Bhast Mai S.
Alien Starfleet Commander

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Dear Mr. Bhast Mai S.,

Thank you for your ardent support. The bitch gets voted out. Feel free to bring Armageddon.

Best regards,

Wyma Bartsteink
Television Producer cum Infidel Earthling

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Alien Transmission 097393750
To : Television Producer Wyma Bartsteink

I regret to note your misinterpretation of our correspondance number 097393749. I was not referring to the bitch who got voted out last episode, but rather that bitch. Please refer to the correct bitch in your next reply so that we may prevent any more postponement of worldwide destruction.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Yours sincerely,

Bhast Mai S.
Alien Starfleet Commander

P.S. Some of my boys want to know what happens to that bastard too. - BMS

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Dear Mr. Bhast Mai S.,

I apologize for any inconvenience caused by the misinterpretation. However, due to company policy, I am unable to furnish you with details on that bitch and that bastard. Please continue tuning in to our show to find out.

We thank you for your support once again.

Best regards,

Wyma Bartsteink
Television Producer cum Infidel Earthling

P.S. Our production crew are bound by agreement not to reveal contents of the show. I am very sorry to say that it does not help even if you masquerade as Alien Invaders. - WB

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Greetings Commander Bhast Mai S :

We have intercepted your transmission number 097393749 to the Infidel Earthlings. Please note imperative change of orders from High Command : Proceed with planetary bombardment only after the last episode of Lost.

Major Ratta Scrootup

for

Aimakam Ho
Starfleet Commander-Captain

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Masquerade

We’ve gone on with this masquerade for so long it’s no more pretence - it’s a reality ; a way of life. We’ve grown so used to the counterfeit that what isn’t false is suspicious. Truth becomes so anarchistic, nihilistic, seditious. Syllogism - you’re now plain jane radical, vanilla avant garde… nothing special. So show me show me your deepest darkest. What isn’t secret is not worth knowing. Milady take off your mask.

Graduation Day Part I

Today was photo-taking day in the disguise of graduation day. Never in my life have I seen so much flashing nor shot so many people.

Here's my haul, starting with the ladies of 05S02...

Testament to the old adage that you can never have too much of a good thing =D
(Or at least that's what Shu must've thought) ...

As the audience clamour for more chicks, I present to you random science flavoured ones...

Graduation Day Part II

Because blogger can only support a number of photos per post I am chopping this up. It is by mere coincidence that I seperate the debators from the humans. Don't sue me.

Debators is a species of humanoids who love quarrels. In fact, they live to quarrel. They quarrel every day and have alot to say. If you ever have the (mis)fortune of meeting one, just inundate the palaver with indecipherable vocabulary and ignore their jargon. If you can't understand them, make sure they can't understand you either.

In case you can't tell, I like debators...