Of The ELDDS Chalet, or I'll Tell It To You Directly - What This World Lacks Is Subtlety

I am sorely disappointed in the severe lack of subtlety in this world, as evident in the microcosm that is the ELDDA chalet...

Note : For the safety and privacy of the specimens involved, names have been removed.

Couple A took a rather conservative approach to courtship, relative to Guy B, by hooking appendages and trotting down Changi Village at 2am. It was a romantic walk along the lines separating Ying and Yang, with a pleasant view of the residential denizens threading that very fine line. This lovely pair's relationship lasted an amazing 10 hours. It wasn't quite scandalous enough, though.

Everything, including nausea-evoking crimson NJ ties, one of which i regrettably had to leash around the snaky length of my neck for the whole duration of Hot Date With Econs. Yes, even that. Everything pales in comparison to the actions of Guy B in his role as the epitome of stealth deficiency, the master of blatant courtship, the infernal penetrator of the boundaries of straightforwardness, the professional exhibist of anti-modesty, the atypical typical open-book, the expert concealer of nothing at all, the remarkable adept of single entendres. He was a very messiah in the facilitation of miracles via blindness- and deafness- curing raucous displays of affections. It didn't mmatter that I hadn't a pebble to hide under during this explosion of mind-numbing openness - a half-mile-wide slate of granite would hardly have fazed the traumatizing onslaught of witnessing this act.

For those who didn't go for the chalet : You didn't miss anything, so there's nothing to tell anyway.

1

hi everyone. this is cj, and this is my -according to cheng- virginal post. ie, number 1.

ALL OF YOU ARE NOW WELCOME TO DEFLOWER ME. YES, EVEN YOU MERE MORTALS, SKULKING AWAY IN THAT CORNER.

-cheng may not deflower me though..sorry man :p-

not sure what to write abt now, seeing as how this is my first post here. a couple of things i probably shouldnt write abt though. the following, for example, should be avoided at all costs. past experience dictates this.

1) little green men *from mars*
2) giant grey men *from URanus*
3) anal probes *both of terrestrial and extraterrestrial origins*
4) cows

waha am bored now..stoning in front of comp..if this counts as wickedly contrived nonsense based on real-life (tm), then all's well and good..if this doesnt..

i guess you'll just have to wait, wont you?

~cheerio~

Of Wasted Effort, or OMGWTFBBQ

Hi,

They made me do it. I did it. I did it overnight (till 1.30am). The next day, they told me it's not what they really want. Here it is. Enjoy...

Background information : The Family is the guise taken on by the Student Cheerleading Group AKA The Councilors during Orientation 1 this year. This article is supposed to be a continuation of the ELDDS publicity effort during CCA day.


Breaking news! ELDDS has the latest update on the recent spate of morbid murders most meticulously meted. In what was described as the most overt eradication ever, the terrorist organization known only as “The Family” silenced four of its most prominent adversaries. The Family is renowned for their use of disorientation tactics in the dispatching of their enemies. They were recently in the headlines for their flamboyant recruitment drive aimed at inducting new blood adept in the arts of mass deception, mass murder and mass dance.

The first victim, Mr. Poe Lemyc, was a vaunted member of the debating society. The society has always stood for truth in its many contrived guises, and Mr. Lemyc was no exception. Thorns in the side of evil, the debaters are active anti-advocates of The Family’s unscrupulous ways. Mr. Lemyc might have earned their ire and, subsequently, his demise with his magnum opus of a performance on the opening round of the annual Julia Gabriel’s Debating Championship. The motion he spoke against- “This House believes that The Family plays a bigger role than teachers in educating children.”

Ms. S. A. Tire of the Drama Society is, regretfully, another victim of this scourge. An alluring actress ambitiously aspiring advancement, she was popularized for her rubenesque figure and salacious pout. I especially loved that scene where she paraded in a tight leather body suit. Erm, oops. Erhem. Ms. Tire is best known for her roles in parodies like The Godfather and The Sopranos. At the time of this most lamentable calamity for the whole of man… kind, she was rumoured to have accepted the leading role in the upcoming movie “The Girl Who Knew Too Much”.

The third murder was definitely done in bad taste. Ms. Asphy Xia, culinary expert and food columnist for the literary society, has been brutally butchered after being strangled at her office desk. It is speculated that she was chosen to taste the wrath of The Family for her tenacity in bad-mouthing Italian cuisine and eateries. In a recent article, she expressed her beef about the unsavoury characters that are so rampant at these restaurants. No footage are available, because they might just make you lose your appetite.

Reporting from the front lines take on new meaning as Mr. Forsyth Wright, our very own correspondent, was found shot in his home while covering the three aforementioned murders. He had phoned the office earlier regarding the discovery of certain incriminating evidence against The Family. In this apparently secure phone call, he accused The Family of slaying creativity with their rambunctious cheers. He also identified the mysterious mastermind as a certain Don… Whitby. These allegations remain unsubstantiated as the evidences are conveniently missing from his abode.



On the bright side, at least it saved me a blog entry :D

Of My Ex-Co Application Form, or Another Suicidal Composition By Your's Truly

Hi,
This is the reason why everybody should vote for me...



Former CCA: NCC(Air)
Leadership Position Held: Nil (3rd Sergeant)

If applicable, describe your former CCA experience, and show how it has helped to develop your leadership skills.

When the only route to authority lies in sycophantic farces and derogation of supposed friends and comrades behind their backs, wouldn’t it be better to live in nondescript probity rather than guilt and delusion?

Executive Committee Position (1st Choice): Editorial Director
Executive Committee Position (2nd Choice):

Describe past experiences that have helped prepare you for taking on this position. (Your 1st choice)

I have attended YLTC 2005. This camp has imbued in me leadership abilities as well as allowed me to get to know most of the residential CCA leaders, most of whom I will definitely not engage in fairer days. If we have to liaise with these personnel, my acquaintance with them will certainly facilitate it.

Personal Statement:

I have chosen the position of Editorial Director owing to my interest in language, literature and writing. Even though I am inexperienced in leading a CCA, I believe I can contribute greatly to the future of College Publications as part of the executive committee. I offer College Publications what the councilors claim they will in their flamboyant speeches, and more.
My reason in foregoing the position of President is due to my apparent lack of diplomatic etiquettes, which I refuse to adopt, on principle. Perhaps if I am instated as Editorial Director, the resulting blend of conservatives and radicals will indeed stimulate more interest in GrayVine, without antagonizing the admin hounds.




And yes, I did submit this as my official application. Muahahaha...

Of Abysmal Poetry, or My Beef Versed Part 1 - Of Family, or Loonies

My Family-


In this dysfunctional household we live,
hope has met it's end. There is no reprieve
from this primogenitured tyranny-
Imbeciles, cretins rule this heirarchy.
Talent is stifled. Intellect is myth
in this dysfunctional household we live.

Yet, to leave, there can only be found grief
as you flee from it's dark, gloomy safety...

Of Revival, or Muahaha You'll Never Be Rid Of Me!

Oh My God!

No, I haven't resign.
Calm the mob-
Nazgulnet's back online!
Think it's odd?
You'll see more of my whine
as I plod
through life's steep decline,
blind, unshod.
Time will hardly confine-
school work's nought.

Here I have built my shrine.
Watch this blog!




Appearing above: Author's avant-garde attempt at arduously arranging alphabets, attributing artistic aspects amateurishly and abominably.
Aggravating? Amazing? Awesome?
Appraisal, analysis, assent, acrimony, adjudication and astute arguments are allowed, although alleged amoral and avaricious anthropods/aborigines aren't appreciated around author's austere abode. Avoid attempts at amorous advances: author acutely anti-social.

Audience apathy advised.

Advertisement: Aspiring au-pair(accomplice) applicants accentuating affable and articulate aspects, apply at anteroom. Age arbitrary.

Au-revoir.