Of Wasted Effort, or OMGWTFBBQ
Hi,
They made me do it. I did it. I did it overnight (till 1.30am). The next day, they told me it's not what they really want. Here it is. Enjoy...
Background information : The Family is the guise taken on by the Student Cheerleading Group AKA The Councilors during Orientation 1 this year. This article is supposed to be a continuation of the ELDDS publicity effort during CCA day.
Breaking news! ELDDS has the latest update on the recent spate of morbid murders most meticulously meted. In what was described as the most overt eradication ever, the terrorist organization known only as “The Family” silenced four of its most prominent adversaries. The Family is renowned for their use of disorientation tactics in the dispatching of their enemies. They were recently in the headlines for their flamboyant recruitment drive aimed at inducting new blood adept in the arts of mass deception, mass murder and mass dance.
The first victim, Mr. Poe Lemyc, was a vaunted member of the debating society. The society has always stood for truth in its many contrived guises, and Mr. Lemyc was no exception. Thorns in the side of evil, the debaters are active anti-advocates of The Family’s unscrupulous ways. Mr. Lemyc might have earned their ire and, subsequently, his demise with his magnum opus of a performance on the opening round of the annual Julia Gabriel’s Debating Championship. The motion he spoke against- “This House believes that The Family plays a bigger role than teachers in educating children.”
Ms. S. A. Tire of the Drama Society is, regretfully, another victim of this scourge. An alluring actress ambitiously aspiring advancement, she was popularized for her rubenesque figure and salacious pout. I especially loved that scene where she paraded in a tight leather body suit. Erm, oops. Erhem. Ms. Tire is best known for her roles in parodies like The Godfather and The Sopranos. At the time of this most lamentable calamity for the whole of man… kind, she was rumoured to have accepted the leading role in the upcoming movie “The Girl Who Knew Too Much”.
The third murder was definitely done in bad taste. Ms. Asphy Xia, culinary expert and food columnist for the literary society, has been brutally butchered after being strangled at her office desk. It is speculated that she was chosen to taste the wrath of The Family for her tenacity in bad-mouthing Italian cuisine and eateries. In a recent article, she expressed her beef about the unsavoury characters that are so rampant at these restaurants. No footage are available, because they might just make you lose your appetite.
Reporting from the front lines take on new meaning as Mr. Forsyth Wright, our very own correspondent, was found shot in his home while covering the three aforementioned murders. He had phoned the office earlier regarding the discovery of certain incriminating evidence against The Family. In this apparently secure phone call, he accused The Family of slaying creativity with their rambunctious cheers. He also identified the mysterious mastermind as a certain Don… Whitby. These allegations remain unsubstantiated as the evidences are conveniently missing from his abode.
On the bright side, at least it saved me a blog entry :D
They made me do it. I did it. I did it overnight (till 1.30am). The next day, they told me it's not what they really want. Here it is. Enjoy...
Background information : The Family is the guise taken on by the Student Cheerleading Group AKA The Councilors during Orientation 1 this year. This article is supposed to be a continuation of the ELDDS publicity effort during CCA day.
Breaking news! ELDDS has the latest update on the recent spate of morbid murders most meticulously meted. In what was described as the most overt eradication ever, the terrorist organization known only as “The Family” silenced four of its most prominent adversaries. The Family is renowned for their use of disorientation tactics in the dispatching of their enemies. They were recently in the headlines for their flamboyant recruitment drive aimed at inducting new blood adept in the arts of mass deception, mass murder and mass dance.
The first victim, Mr. Poe Lemyc, was a vaunted member of the debating society. The society has always stood for truth in its many contrived guises, and Mr. Lemyc was no exception. Thorns in the side of evil, the debaters are active anti-advocates of The Family’s unscrupulous ways. Mr. Lemyc might have earned their ire and, subsequently, his demise with his magnum opus of a performance on the opening round of the annual Julia Gabriel’s Debating Championship. The motion he spoke against- “This House believes that The Family plays a bigger role than teachers in educating children.”
Ms. S. A. Tire of the Drama Society is, regretfully, another victim of this scourge. An alluring actress ambitiously aspiring advancement, she was popularized for her rubenesque figure and salacious pout. I especially loved that scene where she paraded in a tight leather body suit. Erm, oops. Erhem. Ms. Tire is best known for her roles in parodies like The Godfather and The Sopranos. At the time of this most lamentable calamity for the whole of man… kind, she was rumoured to have accepted the leading role in the upcoming movie “The Girl Who Knew Too Much”.
The third murder was definitely done in bad taste. Ms. Asphy Xia, culinary expert and food columnist for the literary society, has been brutally butchered after being strangled at her office desk. It is speculated that she was chosen to taste the wrath of The Family for her tenacity in bad-mouthing Italian cuisine and eateries. In a recent article, she expressed her beef about the unsavoury characters that are so rampant at these restaurants. No footage are available, because they might just make you lose your appetite.
Reporting from the front lines take on new meaning as Mr. Forsyth Wright, our very own correspondent, was found shot in his home while covering the three aforementioned murders. He had phoned the office earlier regarding the discovery of certain incriminating evidence against The Family. In this apparently secure phone call, he accused The Family of slaying creativity with their rambunctious cheers. He also identified the mysterious mastermind as a certain Don… Whitby. These allegations remain unsubstantiated as the evidences are conveniently missing from his abode.
On the bright side, at least it saved me a blog entry :D
chengwei shamelessly blogged at 11:12 PM
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