Of Anti- Propaganda, or Why I Can't Be a Politician In Singapore

I wrote this for College Publications. Naturally, it was rejected. I can't possibly let the fruits of my labour go to waste, and so here it is...




Pre- Elections Article


Mysterious, flamboyantly decorated boxes stuck on canteen tables. Gaudy, sinister- looking mascots roam openly. Haunting neon- colored posters plague the school compound. Shameless, blatant self- advertisements are observed along corridors. In the midst of these oddities- numbers, numbers everywhere. What strange phenomenon is assailing NJC? Who are these people sporting atrocious- looking red ties?

The event- 38th Student Council Elections. The clowns- Council Elects. Even as we doggedly try to go about our lives nonchalantly, it is difficult to ignore the countless hopefuls’ proclamations of utmost dedication, whole- hearted service and unwavering enthusiasm (especially when they’re smeared on large eye- catching posters or prancing about in the form of mascots)

The candidates, each one aspiring to serve, lead and inspire, have started their election campaigns aimed at demonstrating their cooking, designing and stalking skills.

The tissue trend is apparent. Cartons have conveniently sprouted throughout the building. Countless packets are being dispensed, each bearing the candidate’s number and, together with it, a fragment of his dream. On a sweltering day, as students drenched in sweat delight in these comforts which have materialized overnight, how many actually remember their benefactors (or rather, their numbers) who have lavished on them such luxuries?

Another common advertising technique involves ingratiating themselves with our stomachs. Cookies, cakes and sweets are offered to ravenous students in the hopes that even after the tiny morsels are savored and the taste fades, the aspirant’s number will still be fresh in their minds.

An unsuspecting stroll along corridors often leads to us being besieged by flocks of council hopefuls, each one sure of his ability to lead and keen to share that knowledge of self- discovery, together with his candidate number.

As the voting deadline draws near and the intensity of their publicity efforts double, one thing is assured- If they are able to exhibit the same level of conviction and zeal towards the betterment of the school, we can definitely anticipate better days ahead.


Nope, no surprise at all that it got scrapped. Maybe one day I'll be joining a very (in)famous ex- ACS boy- turned- politician in jail...