Of The Sacred Arts Of Exemption From Physically Demanding Tasks, or How I Maintain My Perfectly Unhealthy And Ruinous Lifestyle
Recycled from a reply(by me) to another blog. Yeah I'm just too lazy to think again.
Instructions to the Initiates
For normal, day to day, PE periods, just use an undated parent's letter. Keep it short so it won't attract much attention. Try to grab it out of the PE coach's grubby hands before he attempts(rather unsuccessfully) to read it carefully. Rinse and repeat for the rest of the year.
Note: This ploy stops working upon admission into college- only a limited number of letters are allowed. This issue is currently being worked on by a vaunted research team(consisting of me). Expect results soon, but as with everything on this site, don't hold your breathe- it might get fatal.
X-country might require a bit of tact. In the event that you are unable to hurt yourself enough to qualify for an official MC, an eloquently scripted parent's letter will suffice, though it'd require better planning than normal PE, since we're dealing with the more intelligent academics teachers here(who'd actually scrutinize every word and fault in the letter). Try to epitomize what you wrote in the letter- if you're supposed to have a flu(my personal favourite), sneeze occasionally, but not too frequently as to attract false concern.
Recently, I found another way to skip such "important" school events- the filming club. If your school does not have one of those, the photography club will do fine, though it'd require more skill to get in. Filming is easy- just point and shoot. And as an added bonus, you get to see the looks of agonized jealousy on your peers AND save it on tape. Basically, just kill to get into the club. Then kill(or, in extreme circumstances, seduce the relevant authorities) to get the job.
Follow these instructions, my young padawan, and you are bound to do well in the sacred arts of absolution from mindless physical exertion.
Instructions to the Initiates
For normal, day to day, PE periods, just use an undated parent's letter. Keep it short so it won't attract much attention. Try to grab it out of the PE coach's grubby hands before he attempts(rather unsuccessfully) to read it carefully. Rinse and repeat for the rest of the year.
Note: This ploy stops working upon admission into college- only a limited number of letters are allowed. This issue is currently being worked on by a vaunted research team(consisting of me). Expect results soon, but as with everything on this site, don't hold your breathe- it might get fatal.
X-country might require a bit of tact. In the event that you are unable to hurt yourself enough to qualify for an official MC, an eloquently scripted parent's letter will suffice, though it'd require better planning than normal PE, since we're dealing with the more intelligent academics teachers here(who'd actually scrutinize every word and fault in the letter). Try to epitomize what you wrote in the letter- if you're supposed to have a flu(my personal favourite), sneeze occasionally, but not too frequently as to attract false concern.
Recently, I found another way to skip such "important" school events- the filming club. If your school does not have one of those, the photography club will do fine, though it'd require more skill to get in. Filming is easy- just point and shoot. And as an added bonus, you get to see the looks of agonized jealousy on your peers AND save it on tape. Basically, just kill to get into the club. Then kill(or, in extreme circumstances, seduce the relevant authorities) to get the job.
Follow these instructions, my young padawan, and you are bound to do well in the sacred arts of absolution from mindless physical exertion.
chengwei shamelessly blogged at 9:46 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home