Of The O' Levels Results, or Your Very Own Custom Made Scenario Part 2

<14-16 Points>
You knew this was coming. From the time you opened that innocent looking NIE letter, you knew this was coming. There is no surprise except, possibly, for the lack of it. You had hoped it was a mistake, that it was all a big mix- up. You were wrong. Its time to accept the truth. Be grateful, because you had weeks to prepare and to mourn. Perhaps it is time to look upon your teachers in a different light now that your future occupation is amongst them?


<10-13 Points>
You expected better. Never in your life have you gotten this dismal score. Suddenly, it dawns upon you that your current prestigious JC will not have the likes of you. Lost and with no notion of where to go, you begin to cry, ignoring the stares of those who'd rather have your score than their own. Maybe you can be the cream of the crop in another, less esteemed college instead. But what's the point?


<8-9 Points>
You are elated, or at least you think you are. Just because you get to stay in your college of choice doesn't mean you're satisfied with your score though. You look upon your peers with 6 and 7 points with a tinge of envy. You could have been amongst their ranks, but somehow you didn't make it. You know you deserve better, yet you can't bring yourself to show your sorrow amidst the chaos for fear of agitating the 10+ pointers. Maybe you should've mugged harder during the examination. Maybe you should be satisfied with this most average of scores. After all, it'll allow you to stay on in your current college. Then again, maybe not.


<6-7 Points>
You did it! You've achieved the highest standard possible, or so you thought. A quick glance to your fellow 6/7 pointer shows that he/she beats you with more As. You follow the throng of satisfied acquaintances and leave the failures to their lamenting, all the while proclaiming your excellence. As you celebrate your victory, you can't help but feel inadequate amongst the more qualified 6/7 pointers. Nevertheless, you have done well and deserves whatever reward that was promised to you. Just try to do better than Dwayne next time ok?


-Perfect Score- 6 Points-
Damn you nerd! I wish you an early infirmity and a lonely life ahead. No girl/guy will fall for your non-existent charms. You are unable to hold a decent conversation and are devoid of all eloquence. As you look through your thick, ugly glasses for a friend to share your joys, you suddenly realize that you have no friends at all. You can't help but have the ominous feeling that something bad is going to happen to you. There is no one around who will speak to you. Your classmates stare at you with disgust- disguised envy. Soon, regret sets in as you hope you had devoted more time to personal relationships. There is no one to accompany you on the slow trudge home to another day of relentless studying.


No amount of points in this world can buy friendship. No matter what your score(be it dismal or exemplary), know that your friends will always be there for you. Whether to lend a shoulder to cry on, to celebrate with, or just to laugh with, they'll always be there.

-Wow! Can't believe I actually typed out that sentimental bullshit! The O's must be really getting to me...-

To everyone I know in NJ, and to everyone who knows me in NJ- I hope to stay, and I hope you stay too. If we have to leave, I hope I go wherever you go.

Check back tomorrow for scores, scores, scores and, did I mention? More scores!

Of The O' Levels Results, or Your Very Own Custom Made Scenario Part 1

Hello all,
I'm not really in the mood for blogging this week(cos of some very obvious activity happening on monday) but for the sake of my loyal fans, I'm determined not to disappoint. So here I am, blogging about my own approaching doom/glory.

In case you have been hiding under a rock for the past week, here's the deal- O's results are coming out on Monday, 28th February 2005. Actually, I don't see the point in worrying right now since the results were pretty much decided 3 months ago by YOURSELF!

Being the helpful blogger that I am, I've prepared custom scenarios for all my fans for when the truth is finally revealed...

Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for any injuries(mental or physical) or deaths caused, directly or indirectly. by the following information.


You know you're doomed. No JC will admit you. There is no turning back. But before you do whatever it is you have to do(s...u...i...c...i...d...e...), go for one last day of fun! Upon receiving your dismal results, call up your parents and tell them you've got 6 points. Tell them how much you love them and how you couldn't have done it without them. Basically, just act as if you're receiving an Emmy. With that settled, go out with the REAL 6 pointers. Have a day of total havoc without worrying about that nasty score. I'll leave the rest to your vivid imagination(its your last chance to use it), but there's no turning back after that phone call!

"It's better to burn out than to fade away."- Kurt Cobain


<18-20 Points>
You thought you were safe when NIE didn't send you a letter. Never did you suspect that it was because you didn't qualify for NIE. You thought you could score below 14, but apparently, you didn't. Disappointment racks your body. You feel torn apart by the awful, cruel truth. Today is your last day to hang out with your intellectually developed friends. After this day, all your acquaintances will make you appear smarter than you really are. Well, at least you got into a JC, albeit a low- end one.




To be continued...

Of The Latest Breaking News, or Something So Important I'm Risking My Life To Post On A Weekday

Today, 22nd February 2005, the President of Muggers' Society got thrown out of the library for not wearing his uniform. Preposterous! I'm denied entry into my own territory? What atrocities! I demand a change to the constitution! Rise, my fellow muggers! Fight for our RIGHTS! Start by voting for me in the coming Student Council's Elections!(?)

Of 10 Reasons To End My Current (State Of) Life, or Suicide Note From Your Ex- Friendly Webmaster, Who Will Be Missed... A Little

Firstly, my confession: Remember when I said there were more to JC life than Mugging and Skirt Chasing? Well, I lied. Other than those 2, there's only CCA, which can hardly sustain any intelligent being on its own. You either Mug or Chase Skirts. Failure to do either will result in a very boring JC life indeed. Attempting to do both will result in a massive influx of white hair(*cough* JianHui *cough*) and/or utter failure in both aspects. Well, for my crime, I deserve no less than death. But just for kicks, here're more reasons(in no particular order except that in which I think of them) why I should just end my current life right now...

Reason 10- Caffeine Addiction
Every morning, upon reaching school, I MUST have a cup of coffee(preferable with mint). And another one in every subsequent break. And another one for every opportunity to sneak into the canteen. And another one after school. And another one to sustain me on my way to the bus stop. And another one...
Well, you get the gist. From my point of view, I've got 2 choices- continue living with this addiction(why not? coffee tastes pretty good until the 9999th cup) or end it.

Reason 9- No Weekday Access To The Computer
This little box is my sustanence, my very essence, my support when all else fails. Since the start of this year, the residential slavemistress has ordered that there shall be no online activity for her puny spawn on weekdays. Sucks to be me, eh?

Reason 8- Horrendous Hair Which Adamantly Refuses To Grow Beyond Current Unsightly Length
Once again, there're 2 choices- continue letting it grow and hope it'll look presentable one day or shave it all off again. After some promises from supporters of my hair- growing campaign to supply me with manure, I've decided on the former, which kinda explains my current "neither here nor there" hair.

Reason 7- O's Results
Kinda self- explanatory but for the benefit for those who've been hiding under a rock for the past week, its coming. And I've lost all my previous confidence I had while taking the examination. Fortunately, there hasn't been any Letter From NIE which is supposedly sent to 14-17pointers.

Reason 6- Inability To pursue Passion In Lit
All you pathetic denizens out there, hear my plight!
Well, see, I've always had this interest for literature and I feel that I'd have fun even if I don't score well for it. In ACS(I), literature was the only lesson I actually LOOK FORWARD TO ATTENDING. But I should keep in mind that not everyone is Karen Liau(THE best lit chick, erm I mean teacher, in the world). And JC is my last chance to pursue lit(since I obviously can't do lit in the university if I want to attain my ambition of being a plastic surgeon) Currently, I've set my mind on dropping Physics for Literature, which brings me to the next problem- Physics is my best science. Seeing as its a choice between physics and biology(since chemisty is compulsory for medicine), I was contemplating dropping biology for literature. Easy choice, since I hated biology in secondary school. Then biomedical quiz made me realize that biology is the next thing to compulsory for taking medicine. So I'm left with the choice of either physics or literature. The Heart says Literature, but Logical Thinking Dictates Physics. I wonder if I can muster up enough courage at that final moment to choose literature over physics. As with all important choices I make, this will only be decided at the last second, and the final decision will definitely be regretted somehow, as with all other important decisions I make.

Reason 5- Cannot Go To The Maldives For CIP Cos Dad Says "Danger Lurks"
Screw it, then. I'll just go on the next overseas CIP trip instead. No way I'm going to some old folk's home for hours...

Reason 4- Have Almost Finished Reading Every Book In My Massive Collection
I used to think it was impossible but its coming true. The very fabric of logic is giving away, unless I can drag my fat ass down to Borders one day and start replenishing my supply of tomes.

Reason 3- The Things That Lurk In My Drawer
Skeletons of my past. Looking in my drawer reveals a large collection of unpainted, unhappy miniature figurines and paints worth my entire year(2004)'s allowance. I promised myself I'd start painting again, and the measly(relative to the unpainted population) number of intricately completed pieces beckon and challenge me to do better. Unless I can get my life in order(or rather, into a semblance of last year's unbusy schedule in which I reach home at 3pm sharp every day), I doubt I'll have the luxury of having enough idle time to pick up the brush again.

Reason 2- Kinda Screwed Up My SRP(Science Research Program) Aptitude Test
As Darren said, this was the first time I admitted that the paper was tough. Kudos to NUS for breaking this record. Managed 51 questions in 1 hour. Pretty fine compared to others who did 30+, but they had less options to choose from(I had the maximum of 100). In the end, it'll depend on how the points are calculated. Hopefully I'll be selected for SRP anyway, or else I'd just have to go for the STAR program from NJ.

Reason 1- I've Not Done Next, Next Week's Homework Yet!
And I'd bet my secretary(Now ex-, since he's been fired for being better than the President in mugging. Preposterous!) already have. I've got a reputation to keep up with here, and my secretary's being too effective a mugger. And the slacker's clubs are beginning to show their true mugger colours. Perhaps its time to reveal the real agenda of the Muggers' Society. *dark smile*


So many reasons to end my life. But for the sakes of my loyal blog supporters, I'll try to sustain myself for a while longer. Coming soon- Final Decisions, Acknowledgements, My New Fashion Statements and most importantly, The O Level Results.

Something new here...
Quote of the Year/Day/Hour/Minute/Second(taken from the book I'm currently reading)
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore exempted from saving Universes."- Ford Prefect, HitchHiker. Taken from the best book in the universe, which happens to be whatever book I'm currently reading, which, at this moment, coincide with The HitchHiker's Guide To The Galaxy. The probability of which happening is 1 to 9846254859162245.

Of Spreading Incriminating Information Regarding Peers, or Why I Hate Scandals, Gossips And Rumours

Hello people,
Once again, I hope nobody held his/her breath.

Yeah I know this topic(and update) is long long overdue. Was supposed to be slated for release before V-Day(the dreaded) but apparantly, the webmaster has been too busy trying to get a date(apparently, he's been unsuccessful).

Now that V-Day has brought almost every mystery in NJ into broad daylight, and no more of that "liking" and "crushing" nonsense are spreading in whispers around corners, another health risk(that of dying from curiosity) has been removed. Well, lets hope everything stays silent for a while more, because I really hate having to ferret out all these juicy scandals just to have a beautiful, insomnia-free night of sleep. Which reminds me- this post is written at 12am under the influence of caffeine. Normally, this'd be pretty much the norm but this week, I've had less that 5 hours of sleep per day on average. Coffee and Red Bull have just become my best friends.

Anyway, since we're on the subject of V-Day...
From the jaded, love-deprived webmaster, to all you lovers out there- IT WILL NOT LAST! MUAHAHAHA!

Of Rampant Confusion, or Your Chance To Help Me Or Perish With Me

Just some questions and thoughts to share with everyone before I burst in frustration...

The Purpose Of Life- Who made us? What're we doing here? Where do we go after life? Can these be explained scientifically? No, I'm not about to embrace religion.

The Universe- Are we the smartest beings out there? Is there life outside of earth? are they hostile? When will they attack? What'll they look like? Will they speak english or chinese? Cos I really suck at the latter.

Gas Syringes- All my yahoo searches returned me product listings... Mrs Kong's not gonna be happy.

World domination- Is it still possible in this day and time? Will i fail horrible, or will I go out in flames? What does it take to dominate the world? Money? Intelligence? Power? Sports(God forbid)?

Valentine's- WillIi be all alone at home this year? How will i face the world? Is there any help?

School- NJ or AC?

Subject Combination- Biology, Physics, Literature- Choose 2

And something cool I'd like to share with all my loyal fans...

Aliens have taken you aboard their ship. You will be asked to make a statement. If the statement is true you will be blasted into atoms. If it is false you will be ejected into space. One statement can get you out alive. What is it and how does it spare you?

First one to give the correct answer gets no prize!

Of My Late Night Revelry At Marina Square or, A Lack Of It

CNY Day 2 deserves the title of Most Boring Day Of My Life (No relation to the most boring show in history- Days Of Our Lives)

In a suicidal display of filial piety*, I accompanied my dad, with our usual entourage of 2 cousins,to the open- air(and non- air- conditioned) can of festive human sardines they call marina square. What I didn't know when I signed up for this was that the rest of Singapore would be dropping by to say "hi" as well. Lets digress a little...

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Of Filial Piety or, AngPao Fraud!
Actually, the real reason was my gratitude for the 2.1k angpao he gave me, 2k of which I may not touch in the near future and am currently excessively sore about it but will soon find a way to get by that restriction... NOT. In case you haven't realized, I am awfully PISSED off about that fact. Well, my bad for having entertained thoughts of actually spending that money in that span of 2 full minutes in which I actually got to HOLD it, after which they threw the wet blanket and said its going to the bank(read: un-retrievable(or at least, until I am "older" and conveniently, not in need of it) pit). Well, thanks for nothing. I'm sure my 21 year old self will appreciate all the money that my 16 year old self didn't really receive. But for now, let me be a sore bastard. Kudos to my sis for telling me how I'd be grateful for the money I cannot spend now(which is currently undergoing decay in the bank vaults). Easy for you to say, sis, when you get to spend your 2k...
Politically correct statement: I know what they're doing is for my own good. Yada yada yada... And I know that money will be mine(miiiinnnneeeeeeeee) sooner or later, and I'm grateful for it. *End politically correct mode*

But that doesnt mean I can't bitch about it.
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As I was saying, we went to Marina Square. As I was saying, Singapore went to Marina Square.

Once there, I was appalled(and disgusted) at the immense crowd which we'd soon be part of, unless I can stop it. I couldn't. Touched by their determination(mostly caused by the $4 Esplanade parking fare) to accelerate their impending doom by voluntarily being assimilated by the crowd, I followed, rather foolishly. There were no survivors on this lifeless, boring night.

As I fought the crowd, now encroaching within viral-spreading distance, my idle mind whirled and actually started thinking! Once again, I question my existence, or rather, my temporary existance in this most unfriendly of places, Earth, or, at that moment, Marina Square. All civility aside, the burning question on my mind was "WTF am I doing here?".

Actually, I exaggerated a little(oxymoron alert!). It wasn't that boring after all. The overpriced, inferior food made me appreciate and admire the thousands of starving children in this world who didn't have to endure this subpar food.
Since we're always reminded to think of those who're starving in this world whenever we get food. Shouldn't it work both ways?- Those children in Africa should be reminding of us poor souls who've to ingest these subquality food just so that they'll starve. They should be grateful for their plight(or rather, good fortune to starve).

Of worthy mention(only in relativity to the whole event) is the exhibition on chinese weddings(I didn't really go in, but it looked interesting(NOT!) from afar)- I'll eventually be using a similar ritual to get rid of all my pesky sisters. I'd have enjoyed(NOT!) learning about it if not for the milling mass of sweaty bodies threatening to crush any stragglers.

After that whole hiatus, we went for supper at some overpriced food center(Maxwell) which happened to have monopoly on this night. Man does inflation run rampant during CNY! Well, at least I didn't have to pay for that meal(which explains my ravacious appetite).

All in all, a totally unenjoyable evening which left me worn, drained, slovenly and worse of all, sweaty.

Of CNY Day 1 or, Greetings From The Pits Of Insanity

Welcome, all, to another boring(owing to my interesting life and DW's Hypothesis On Life and Blog) update on my blog! Yeah so CNY just came and went... So un-thrilled and un-surprised(of course, you've gotta have goldfish memory to be able to enjoy something 16 times over). Sigh, I guess that means I'm getting older.

Since some people(DW) wanted to hear more about my life(or lack of) and less about my rantings...

Day 1, CNY-
Went visiting in the morning. Reached grandma's house too early(ie. No other visitors to collect angpaos from). Eventually left for home with 3 less angpaos than estimated and 3 extra CNY greetings to spare.
Hint for all potential angpao givers- Be late, and you'll get to save on angpaos.

Reached home to see that all my bitchy relatives have arrived. In case some of them are watching, I'm joking- not all of them are bitchy. The usual routine continues with me giving my priceless new-year greetings in exchange for puny change. Then me retreating into my room(Surprise surprise! Its been taken over as the cousin's headquarters! Well, at least I don't have to clean up the mess.). Someone brought Kill Bill 2 and we watched it until the PS2 started sputtering and complaing. Finally, it couldn't take the violence anymore and spit out the DVD at the vital moment.
So CNY Day 1 continues with me wasting away in my room(with several other cousins) and losing horribly in blackjack(Not that I suck at it. I'm just cursed.). Other than the income, the event that I enjoyed most this holiday season was MAHJONG! It was my first time playing and everyone thought I'd be easy meat. In the end, I surprised everyone by not losing all my money.

More about Bitchy Relatives- Someone actually ASKED and COMPLAINED(To the great, venerable grandma. Its not her fault her child turned out this way.) about their angpao problems. Apparently, my sis "forgot" to give her(The Bitch) kids their angpaos, and her(The Bitch) kids their greetings. Obviously, the son of the bitch won. What irked me was the fact that for 4 years(could be more, can't remember exactly when this conflict started), I(with another rebellious cousin of mine) did not receive ANYTHING from her, and not once did we whine about it. Then again, its probably because we know her angpaos will only contain 2 bucks at most(not at all worthy of our well-wishes). What's worse is that she(henceforth known as "The Bitch") pops by for dinner almost everyday(throughout the year, not only during festive seasons), together with her 2 misbegotten spawn. Really, I'm ashamed to be related to someone of her calibre. I'm not alone in my opinions here- I'm sure my sis would agree vehemently if she pops by, unless she's too chicken(Get it? Chicken? Rooster? I'm a genius!) to comment.
Here's wishing The Bitch an early infirmity. And don't eat the rooster!

Of Keeping My Loyal Fans Busy, or Yet Another Feeble Update Attempt

Sorry guys, no updates today cos I'm so tired(or rather, just lazy, as usual). Hopefully, this will satisfy my supporters for the time being. Can't claim any credit for it since its not really original(filched it from someone).
Warning: Proper supervision is recommended while attempting the following exercise.




To Keep a Bimbo Busy, Please Scroll Down...


































To Keep a Bimbo Busy, Please Scroll Up...